the L word
it took us over a year to say the L word.
not because we didn’t l*ve each other, but because l*ve is scary. because l*ve is serious. because we we were unfamiliar with l*ve. because l*ve is a promise that a couple of teenagers aren’t too sure they can keep.
after a year of you and me, I accepted how I felt about you, and I embraced it. I was ready to make that promise.
and I will never forget the day I told you that I love you. I still remember every detail. my white hoodie, your gray sweatshirt. the raindrops on the window, my fingers in your long, curly hair, the twinkle in your eyes when I finally said the words i’d been dying to say.
“i. love. you.”
and you loved me too.
we really were in love, and we were no longer afraid to admit it.
I will always love you, my high school sweetheart, my ex boyfriend, my first true love.
thank you for teaching me that love is an adventure, that love is a leap. that love is an unexplored ocean that’s waiting for us. that love doesn’t have to be scary or serious.
thank you for introducing me to the L word.
fireflies
one thing-my favorite thing.
I really only see them in my day dreams, when I’m dancing with them late at night mid summer.
or when I remember those nights that I shared my pillow with them, those nights I never told anyone about because I wanted them to be my own.
they’re magical.
a symbol of light.
how does a tiny bug produce light? we all wondered until scientist figured it out in 2015. something about chemicals or a crazy phenomenon.
there’s finally an explanation, no need to wonder anymore. but I don’t want to hear it. I want to wonder.
I want to believe in magic.
kaleidoscope
everything was black and white.
every day was the exact same.
until you came along, wearing your bright purple shirt, your hair a mess. the only color I could see.
and I was intrigued.
so I watched you, I spoke to you, I thought about you, and eventually I fell in love with you.
and I let you fall in love with me.
and the memories we made,
oh the memories we made.
bright yellows and neon pinks. forest greens and ocean blues.
life was no longer monochromatic
no, life was looking through a kaleidoscope- vivid and fascinating.
but nothing gold can stay.
and eventually our bright orange “I love you”s faded into gray.
our vibrant yellow laughters went dark.
I lost my kaleidoscope. and myself.
knowing what its like to see, and then going blind.
that is what it felt like. and it hurt.
but I missed that kaleidoscope.
so I searched for it.
I looked under rocks and I flipped through pages and peered behind closed doors. and in the process of looking for my kaleidoscope I found colors more radiant than ever before.
and i colored the grays and I painted the blacks and the whites and I rediscovered the beauty,
and the memories I’ve made
oh the memories I’ve made.
hues like I’ve never known before.
and I realized that life is so beautiful, I need the kaleidoscope no more.
what am i? intro
I am young and reckless but now that im finally seventeen I think I am old and wise.
I am afraid that time is slipping through my fingers, but im not sure what I can do about it.
I am loud in normal situations but quiet when I most want my voice to be heard.
I am a helpless romantic but im staring at a movie theater screen.
I am stuck in lala land but im not looking for a way out.
I am a dreamer but my dad thinks I dream too big.
I am the girl whose heart breaks when she sees a red helicopter, but imagines flying in the sky next to it.
I am happy, but I write the best when im sad (sorry).
sundance kid 